The Ugly

Oh man, there is just something about being physically exhausted that has the ability to bring out the ugliest parts of us. The unsightly human nature. Lord take that out of me. I want it crucified. The human nature is hideous and so selfish, full of pride. I want to reflect Jesus Christ by being humble.

I am often Gomer.

Lord Jesus I want to be your lover. To show you I love you. I don't want to make you feel second fiddle, or take you for granted. If you found the love of your life you would not want to waste one second to always be in their presence. He is the love of your life.
(if you are not familiar with Gomer, read the first few chapters of Hosea. Gomer represents Israel and also us when we are engrafted in God's family.)




Thanx so much Hannah for correcting me :)

¡The LAMBS book of Life!

HALLELUJAH!

I picked up an oldie out of my cd's today. Best decision I've made all day.

Carmen. Does that bring back memories or what?

So here it is...

Take that satan!

I hope your as blessed at this as much as I was or am or more than I was. :)

His blood covered it ALL!
Also if you love to jam this is the other that really blessed me today.

If I put myself in His care we will take the greatest adventure ever!

There is something so special to me in being a woman.

I love how we crave someone to take care of us. Well it is foolish of me to speak for all women. I apologize. I love how vulnerable I can be with my Husband. That is Jesus. 

I love the earthly example of a healthy working union between a man and woman. When the wife can be vulnerable to her husband, the trust she has in him. I have this trust in the Lord and He will never abuse that or lose that trust.

Lately I've been asking the Lord to take me on an adventure.

Adventures are thrilling and the One leading has to have your complete trust and faith.

He is asking me, "Do you trust me?"

No one compares to Him. I don't mean to cut physical husbands down, that is not my intention. For God created the union. But no man on earth could ever compete. Jesus knows my every need before I even speak it. He knows my every thought. He knows my every wish, He formed me for Himself.

O that I would wrap myself up in Him. That His name would be close to my lips at all times. Praise of Him never to cease from my mouth. He WILL be my dwelling place.

Better is one day in your courts. Better is one day in your house, than thousands elsewhere. 

O' Praise Him

So yesterday morning I was at work and I just knew that I needed to press into God further.

      My desire is to pursue him as a man pursuing a woman. God doesn't force himself on us, we have to seek him. He loves it when we seek him, and show Him that we really want Him enough to keep seeking and not just being satisfied when we only know the exterior if Him. 

So I am at work wondering what I can do to see more of Him. I am praying Lord show your manifest presence to me. It isn't a I want to see Him anymore, it is a I need to see Him. Although I do want to see Him as well. :)

And then it hits me.

Psalms 22:3 He inhabits the praises of Israel. In which through adoption I am in that family now. 

So I start praising Him and thanking Him for the wonderful things He has done in my life. 

And you know what?!

He leaned in, and got real close to my voice. Almost like His ear right next to my lips as if I were whispering these praises, and He just couldn't get close enough.                                                            

This is a video of Misty Edwards please take a couple minutes, I think you'll be blessed.  

He is a mystery. We need to search Him out. He is so big! A couple may be married for a lifetime and not fully understand something their spouse does, and this is not a human we are talking about this is GOD!                                                     

these are the lyrics...

You're a mystery like poetry, like a parable, a rhyme or a riddle
You're a mystery wrapped in clouds, shouting so loud
just waiting to be discovered
You're a mystery so intriguing, You're a mystery so inviting

You saved Yourself for the weak, the humble and the meek
Only the hungry dine, only the thirsty drink deep
You saved Yourself for the needy, You saved Yourself for me, yeah!

You're a mystery like poetry, like a parable, a rhyme or a riddle
You're a mystery wrapped in clouds, shouting so loud
just waiting to be discovered

I want to waste my life to search You out, search You out
I want to waste my life to search You out, search You out

I don't want to build castles in the sand
I don't want to live in a fairy tail
I want what's real, the knowledge of You
I will remain forever, remain forever

And I want to waste my life to search You out search You out
I want to waste my life to search You out search You out

It's the glory of God to hide a matter, yeah
And it's the glory of a king to search it out
I wanna search You out
I love the way You hide so I can find You, yeah
I wanna search You out...

temptation

                  The world is CONSTANTLY calling              My flesh seeks only that the pleases temporarily.

      satans minions dangle temptation in front of me.

 :( The sad thing is, is that I get hooked on temptation         SO small.

              And it definitely doesn't settle as well as it went down.          What would I do with GRAND TEMPTATION???                  He knows what we can handle.                             These small Monica fitted temptations. Their purpose for now, are to send me back to an apathetic state.
GODS LOVE FOR US should help us amidst temptation.                                                         ____________________________________________________

As I have posted before of temptation and protecting what you have with the Lord, it is a training a discipline. This is a discipline that does not come with a negative connotation for me. This word discipline is like ROTTING TRASH to most. But when it is attached to protecting my marriage with the Lord I take it up gladly :) like FRESH BAKED CHOCOLATE CHIP COOKIES, or cookie dough lol:). But this is serious, if you are NOT here trust me your spirit wants to be at a place where discipline is eaten like dessert.  

!Recognize! satan and temptation as a wife recognizes when a beautiful women flirts with her husband. 

 ___________________________________________

ALSO THE REALIZATION that anything satan can tempt you with is temporary, lost upon death. or even lost shortly after received. Or even you took God of the top priority list for only a taste or a smell that but lasted for a moment. WAKE UP! We not only live for ourselves but for others.

I will even tell on myself, the other night I was sick in bed having a pity party, decided to watch a harmless movie. My friend a muslim calls me in a nervous breakdown thanks be only to God that I was given a great platform to witness to her. When that phone was hung up I realized, I was awoken from mild apathy. I said to myself, "Monica how stupid are you, this movie is a waste of precious time when I need instead to be always preparing myself to be always ready for share the good news of the gospel."

i have this strong desire to fiercely protect 
what i have with the Lord.
that nothing shall distract me. i want to be jealous over Him. in the same way He is jealous over me. i wish i could've been in the garden. i  wonder what the presence of the Lord was like. i want to learn to live with the fact that His presence is always with me.

i'm constantly striving to switch my the reality of this worldly realm with the spiritual realm.
i want this world to be like a dream in that i realize on a twenty-four seven basis is ending upon our full awakening in death.

Gentle reminders of His love for us.

His creation is packed with symbolism.

symbolism that points to Himself.

I know that He spoke it into creation,

but I can just imagine His mind scurrying about,

in the length of six days, 

maybe thinking to Himself, "How best can I put myself into the sky?"

"How can I show best my love in the stars?"

"How can I show them my humor in the animals?"

"Show them that I am gentle like a gentle breeze."

"And show them I am warm like the sun."

Vanity swallows up flattery.

So, I have a confession to make in this post. This past couple weeks there has been a fellow co-worker who has been feeding me smooth words of flattery. 

 Proverbs 6&7

(I am not even attracted in any sense to this young man)

So there I am working when it hits me, "I'm feasting on this flattery with ill-intent behind it."

Immediately I sought the Lord. 

Flattery feeds the intense craving of admiration, and applause of vanity. Our appearance is temporal and fades away like the flower of the field. 

My prayer is to learn humility, which is not thinking lowly of one's self, but rather, not thinking of one's self at all.

I must continue on my quest to crucify my flesh.

Humility is a by product of a surrendered heart.

Besides anything in me worth flattering is not mine in the first place.

I can only boast at what the Lord has done.

I don't want to be needy for flattery for attention. Or addicted to myself.

The Lord needs to be my source of attention. 

Any need of validation I will go to Him with.

                 I will have my identity in Christ.

~Spirits like Trees~

So I was out watering the other night and just being quiet.

And then I hear something in my ears that are not seen.

I've always thought and known through the Bible that trees are symbolic.

Not only do they bear fruit and provide shelter from the scorching sun, as do our spirits bear fruit and shelter other peoples spirits.

Trees have amazing roots!

the smaller ones on the surface are for absorbing moisture and  minerals.

Absorbing the moisture of God and His Word...mmmmmmm :)

These littler surface roots have littler hairs that raise up to capture moisture.

Now this is what I was most interested in researching a bit.

The deeper roots...

provide anchorage, like a tree planted by the waters,   

Jeremiah 17:8 He will be like a tree planted by the water that sends out its roots by the stream. It does not fear when heat comes; its leaves are always green. It has no worries in a year of drought and never fails to bear fruit."

These deeper roots will concentrate the majority of it's resources where nutrients and water are more easily available.

These roots grow vertically downward until they encounter an obstacle or soil with insufficient oxygen for growth. They will often branch and form a second layer of roots deeper in the soil. These roots function as water and food storage areas for the tree. 

John 4:14 but whoever drinks of the water that I will give him will never be thirsty again. The water that I will give him will become in him a spring of water welling up to eternal life.”

Reserves for strength in times of trouble and drought!!

NOW I WANT MY SPIRIT TO BE LIKE A TREE FROM TOP TO BOTTOM.

I'm trapped in the flesh.

that darn "freewill" had to eat of that fruit!

in my frustration Jesus Christ reminds me,

that this is the only way I can stay here on earth and be used by Him.

and then it becomes a little easier to wrestle monotonously with human nature.

"God I thank You that You are strong in my weaknesses."

Anticipation

Now that I'm seeing my flesh getting more distant everyday, I can't wait to see how much better it gets with

obeying His Words. 

Dying to my flesh.                                                                    

Deeper and deeper.                                                                                                                                     

I want my flesh to become like a fading dream upon awakening of my spirit. 

Which is strengthening on the Bread of Life.

I will not be eaten!

1 Peter 5:8 "Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil, as a roaring lion, walks about, seeking whom he may devour."

resist stedfast.don't let him intimidate you.

I will OVERCOME by the blood of the LAMB and the word of my testimony!

I'm working constantly on forgiveness

unforgiveness is a foothold for satan in our hearts,

also if we don't forgive neither will God forgive us!

My spirit is fighting my flesh, holding on to bitterness of unforgivsness is also pride, saying you have the right to hold onto this offense.

Remembering that PERFECT peace have they whose minds are stayed on the Lord.

Also that He inhabits the praises of His people.

God never leaves me nor forsakes me! :)

These trials are temporal, and the temporal withers like the grass of the fields.

Also lets remind satan what his ending is, shall we! We've won and have the victory and God is not going to throw us in the lake of fire because we are covered by the blood of His Son! Hallelujah thank you Jesus!

Things God has pleasure in.

I'm learning so much lately. I never pictured God as happy or having pleasure in something. Not that I've thought He was so mean and angry. I never really pictured Him very emotional. Lets just say I have some emotional hangups for me to not see this in God. But maybe you've already realized this, but I'm going to share it any ways.

God I believe gets pleasure when we share Him with a nonbeliever.

Also, I've been making the comparison between His Word the seed, as the mans seed.

Also the soil of course as hearts of mankind. But I am going to symbolize an egg like a woman's egg for the heart.

I think that when we speak forth His Word(Himself) with a non-believer it is like the root meaning for intercourse, which conception could take forth, where His seed becomes alive in the heart or egg of a human soul.

What we see a sexual intercourse is what God gave us as a symbol or metaphor for sharing Him to nonbelievers in the spiritual realm.

Well tell me what you think, tell me even if you think I am a crazy off the path woman.

Habitual Cheater?

So, I'm not the first.

It's dated back from the very beginning.

We as humans have been habitual cheaters on God.

I was reading Ezekiel 16 where God tells Israel that they have paid strangers to be in whoredom with them, rather than being with their husband(God).

We cheat on Him with some really pathetic excuses for reasons to cheat on a perfect match for us.

God is utterly beautiful.

On a rabbit trail, there is this very handsome young man that I sort of work with. He is such a distraction!

But I was communing with God the other night, and I realized...side note(I already sort of knew this but it became much clearer)

...I realized that if I were to put God in a human body that matched His beauty(which I realize is impossible, but I have to make things tangible for my small brain:) )He would be the most gorgeous super model man! 

And get this! He would want me!? And find me beautiful!? WOW!

And I cheat on this perfect man, that fits me like a puzzle piece. I am so stupid...with out Him.

The vulnerable side of God

God is Beauty

             it literally brings tears to my eyes.

             Anything we feel, any emotion,

  He feels it in so much more depth.

For instance, vulnerability.

You think a virgin wife is vulnerable on her wedding night?

God is even more so.

And we take advantage of His loving vulnerability.

We use Him and trash him.

He isn't vulnerable because He is weak,

He is vulnerable because of His great love for us.

Anyone who thinks their heart has been broken,

has absolutely no idea of the depth of pain associated with a broken
heart.

I have no idea how far the nerves of His love go. 

All this...for the want of our love.

God is the sexiest!

Okay so I'm going through this learning experience.

It has something to do with God as my husband, my lover.

I am a single young woman and I can be so distracted by good looking men or the thought of marriage, and children.

BUT!

I'm changing my way of thinking.

We think this physical realm is the most REALITY.

That physical attraction is SO very strong.

That sex is the greatest pleasure.

When in all actuality,
The spiritual realm is the most REALITY!

I mean God invented sex! :)

Why would we not think He has something more attractive for us?

"Jesus, Lover of my soul,

Jesus, I will never let you go

You’ve taken me from the miry clay

You've set my feet upon the Rock, and now I know

I love you, I need you,

Though my world may fall, I’ll never let you go

My Saviour, my closest friend,

I will worship you until the very end"

A New Dawn

I want to wake with thoughts of Him on my mind.

With His presence exposed to me.

Flirting glances of our souls.

To be so intertwined that through His eyes I see.

And through my body He stretches forth His Love.

I was asleep, until He touched the deep of me.

I am a wasteland until I bare His fruit.

__________________________________________

He is the Beauty.

It's beautiful He wants me, cuz I'm not beautiful.

I'm not beautiful.

Alone.

Revelation 3:16

"So then  because thou art lukewarm, and neither cold nor hot, I will spew thee out of my mouth."

Apathy of limboland...

...is the bathwater after the hot has expired.

it's the sticky heat of a summer day with no breeze.

the parched mouth of the desert, with the black baldheaded birds staring down at you.

the violin without any strings.

seeing the fountain and choosing to stay with a dirt tongue.

it's allowing a dethroned prince to rule over you, yet sitting on a throne.